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Hello My Name is Kash

This is my baby Kash he is 4 years old

Momma’s sweet boy Kash is almost 5 and still does not communicate very well. I am homeschooling him this year and also I have gotten him a tutor to come twice a week that I have already paid up 3 months because of the generous people whom have already donated. Words cannot express how greatful our family is to everyone who has supported me through this tough time our family has been having these last 2 years. So posted and pinned to the top as requested and I will continue to update everyone as he progresses. When you think all is lost with people in the world there is always that handful of people who through their simple act of kindness help change a childs life.

All and any donations go straight to Kash his life is most important right now thanks to all whom have already donated!

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Hurt my heart

I haven’t posted in a while I’ve been very busy. But my heart is heavy and missing my daddy today. So I just wanted to post about him and how great he was.

I miss his smile his laugh and his wisdom.

Miss you daddy

2005 My graduation

We don’t believe in reincarnation

Mt husband this morning said to me we don’t believe in reincarnation. What means to say it he doesn’t believe in reincarnation. But of course you could never disagree with him because now your being disrespectful.

Honestly I don’t know how I have been with this man for so long. When good things happen it pile I forget all the gaslighting and ridiculous things he does to me and the kids

I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation I had never read about it before. But when I did I try to share it with my husband and he just shut me down like he does with anything I say. He just thinks we are all dumber than him. When in fact I lived on the streets and have an associates degree and now I do taxes but he’s smarter than me ya know.

So point is I don’t know a lot about reincarnation but I’m not letting him decide for me I am my own person and I have a feeling he’s gonna be old and alone If he doesn’t start considering other people and accepting them for who they are.

Dumb as him

My husband told me last night that I must be as dumb as my 18 year old son. Well I had just about had enough so I let him have it. He wad not happy he did not like that I told him about himself. My real question is why do men think it’s ok to talk to women any kind of way. I would never talk to him like that. He made me cry when he told me that I made him treat me that way instead of apologizing. But then he apologized so I was confused. One day the apologizing isn’t gonna work.

Old me

Today I saw someone that I used to use with and we are not friends. It scares the shit out of me to see her because I know the falling out we had. But you know what I am 2 years clean and I have worked hard for where I am. So even though she wanted to fight me when I saw her idgaf I’m over it. Don’t let your past define you. I have worked to hard to be stepping back so far

For Now

For now I am patient… who knows how long that will last. Even though I am happy about my job (got my first checked today all went to bills) anyway. For Now I am putting up with the behavior but I do not like it. I feel very protective over my children to make sure that they grow up with a good mental state and not traumatized. Maybe other parents do not share the same opinion but I know what it feels like to be called dumb and stupid by your parent and it cuts deep.

WORDS CUT DEEP… We all would do good to learn a lesson about what you say and how you say it. Words hurt even more from someone who is the most important to you like a Mom or a Dad. A partner.

For Now I am quiet I am agreeable… I hate that would AGREEABLE.

New beginnings

I have a new job and it’s nothing like a job I’ve ever had before. How amazing is it that I can be worth more than just a server. Even if other things in my life are not the way I want them to be I am more humble and happy more than I have ever been in my life

I just wish my dad was her to see and watch me be successful. I’m doing this for you daddy I hope your proud if me

I’m sorry I’m to busy being agreeable

No more

Is there ever gonna be a time when done with the way things are. The constant mental abuse that can only be described one way to what it really is. But if I try to stand up for my self the reprocussions from that are worse. What a powerful hold the narcissist has over you. Want not to let him tell me what happened when I know what happened but when I stand up for myself then I’m gaslight into it being that way and I can’t handle his temper because I’m not being “agreeable” WTF

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