I hate Christmas

I really have hated Christmas forever. When I was a kid my mom was gone and my dad always spent all his money on beer. Now I can’t afford it and it just breaks my heart. I wanted to give my kids more than I had but I’ve only been sober 2 years.

Life Sucks

I have no money for Christmas. I am taking the tax exam tomorrow and I don’t think I am going to pass it. It seems like no matter what I do I fail. I am never gonna make it in life its so discouraging. Honestly this is why I use because I don’t know howContinue reading “Life Sucks”

Mental health thought of the day

**if I was truly gone would anyone even notice** And that’s on depression setting in

Have I reached the top

Hell no…and I don’t think that there is a top I think the possibilities are endless. I had a triggering moment this morning just thinking of the escape I used to feel when I was using. BUT REMEMBER ..that escape is only temporary and the aftermath is horrible. All the belongings I have now willContinue reading “Have I reached the top”

Migraines

I have the absolute worst head ache today. I’ve been trying to find my friend Matthew the cheapest way to get to Tennessee but I’m not getting a lot of luck. My house is a mess and I’ve got a lot of homework. But I will say this any of these problems is better thanContinue reading “Migraines”

What have I done

My 17 year old son is very cocky and thinks he is better than everyone. He loves to do debate so anything I try to teach him or say turns into an argument. What did I do wrong here…I tried to give him a better life than I had but now it seems like theContinue reading “What have I done”

Little ones

I’m watching my son do his lesson and seeing all the hardwork and money sent by the people who care help him talk and learn is all worth it for me. Even though I am not in the best state mentally I am trying hard not to be depressed and not to let my bipolarContinue reading “Little ones”

My friend Matthew

I’m going today to pick up my friend who I changed his name for privacy reasons but anyway my friend Matthew is probably the most annoying person I ever met. His dad was 60 years old when he was born and his mom was and is an addict and has never been in his life.Continue reading “My friend Matthew”

#survivingRKelly

You know I watched all these documentaries about R Kelly and I can’t help but think of my Abusive ex that didn’t want me to see my kids or talk to my mom. He would say horrible things to my daddy all the while talking to all these other girls. You know I told himContinue reading “#survivingRKelly”